The gift of Exposure

Exposure… that sense of being seen in our most raw places.

The parts we’ve perceived and internalised as shameful being brought into the light… it can feel like a death (and in a way it is).

It’s extraordinarily hard for the ego… that young, 3, 4, 5 year-old part of us that has spent a lifetime trying to make sure this never happens. and it’s really, really hard to feel the force of that, the full force of protective energy trying to shut it down..... the way we exert so much will to contain the energy that wants to be released, to stay hidden, put together, in control.

It is hard for the body, and if we let it, it hardens the heart.

Repressing that energy is hard for our soul, and the development of a healthy ego, and the freedom of our souls.

When exposure happens it happens, the body can respond in ways that feel overwhelming… shaking, nausea, freezing, going blank, dissociating and an internal shutting down.

Not because something is wrong with us, but because something in us is trying to protect us the only way it knows how. It is the intelligence in built survival mechanisms of the central nervous system and the autonomic nervous system trying to stabilise the incoherent energy... like an electical circuit being switched off.

What can help is naming quietly to yourself, “this is a lot”… “this is shame”… “I am overwhelmed.”

Not to fix it. Just to not be completely alone inside it.

And yet there can also be medicine in our exposure... because we live in a world of polarity and duality, nothing in itself is either good or bad.

As a collective, in our shadow work, we need to make space for these primal, messy, raw parts of ourselves.

So that all the energy that is holding these perceived wrong and bad parts in can be freed up.

The child’s internalisation of shame needs to be freed, opened.

And, that kind of opening… it needs safety because without safety, exposure can deepen the wound. But with even a small amount of presence, of kindness, of being met, something different can happen.

I say this with deep compassion. Deep compassion for myself, this is of course my own story and because I’ve been in situations where the parts of me that felt like too much… the energy it took to suppress them burnt me out. It kept me contained until it blew out. And there they were, those raw, uncontained emotions exposed. Naked.

Wanting to hide, but not in a situation where hiding was possible.

So they are seen.

And I’ve also been someone who has held space while others have exposed themselves.

And what I can say is… it’s never as bad as it feels when it’s happening to you.

We never choose this to happen, but what if it to was happening FOR you.

Because in all the times I’ve been deeply exposed, there was no choice.

There was no energy left to choose.

And sometimes this kind of exposure comes after we have overridden our own limits for too long…not as failure, but as a system that has reached its edge.

There are learnings there, about listening, about honoring our needs, about speaking truth... all of these things help us to create the autonomy of a healthy ego, which actually helps our soul.

Also, there is compassion needed for the fact that sometimes we simply didn’t have the capacity to do that yet.

What we ideally hope for is that we have surrounded ourselves with healthy, loving presence that can make space for the exposure with reassurance and kindness.

And when that isn’t there, the work becomes learning how to offer even a small piece of that to ourselves.

Because after the exposure, there is a tenderness that needs care.

Rest.

Slowness

Self attunement (deep listening)

Gentleness.

Not making ourselves wrong for what surfaced.

Letting the body settle in its own time.

Reaching, when we can, for safe connection.

Even in exposure, there is something true in us that is trying to come into the light.

Because ultimately, even when exposure happens, it can create a much needed crack in our armour…

and through that crack, not just light pours in, but a depth, an emptyness that feels like a new beginning, an opportunity and even a pathway to freedom.

The gift of exposure can be freedom.

Thank you for being you.

Love Jody