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  • Writer's pictureJody Brown

Vulnerability is our Rose

This morning I received a Somatic Therapy session from my peer (we do I weekly swap and yes I realise what a gift that is).

In the session I met a collective of personalities (within me).... they felt like this.

The Sergeant (the one who just wants me to trucking along the straight path... get shit done now 1,2,3,4)

The fixer (the panicky one who wants to be better and feel good and wants the exact steps to get there)

The child (my vulnerability)

and the Holy Mother

As I have been in this work of Embodied Inquiry and Somatic Therapy and some other modalities for a while now... all these parts of myself are pretty well known and familiar in their unique energy to me. That is helpful to me because I then become less identified with them, when I am less identified from them I get to learn about them and what there needs intentions are.

The Holy Mother is the part (of me) that welcomes and creates a safe space for all these parts to be present at the same time. She loves them all... regardless. They are all her children really. She creates permission for them to be present as they are and there is no judgment, just allowance. This is like the mature adult integrated Jody.

The Holy Mother also becomes a resource for me... something I can lean back into that feels reassuring.

In my session the Holy Mother also pointed to the fact that it was the child that needed the attention (this is because she is also the mother fucking wise queen within me).

The Sergeant and the fixer are really the parts that distract and protect the vulnerability of the child.

The vulnerability is there because this part of you/me is directly connected to your essence, your light, the pure innocence that is you, that is always at your center... and, because it is the nature of our human existence... there is often an early wounding to this innocent you/me and then that parts starts to feel unsafe or vulnerable.

That vulnerability needs protection and so we create inner protection identities.

Your innocent essence is so precious, YOU are so precious, that we develop strategies to protect her,/him and when we start to identify the qualities of these protectors they often have there own personalities and they are subconscious personalities, meaning we aren't aware of them until we make space for them (the role of the Holy Mother).

As I worked through this process... (which just spontaneously arises and I am allowing my curiosity, all the sensations, images and movements that arise within my body and mind, and with the permission, compassion and allowing of my peer to follow the thread, I am reminded of the spaces in which we are allowed our vulnerability to be met.

This ALL happens not only in the mind but within the sensations, the tightening, the fluttering, the shaking of the body. The process of any somatic type of practice is to integrate the body and the mind, because if we only stay in the mind we are reduced to using our familiar patterns and our strategies, again and again.... different day... same result.

It can take time, and lots of safety for this precious vulnerable part to reveal herself and it is so worth it.

This is where we start to come into our aliveness, beneath the vulnerability is the purity of you.

These incredible holding spaces have been rare but they are becoming more and more available. If I could gift you one thing that would be to seek out these containers.

Because if you are like me... your are worth it, your life is worth it, something is calling you to reclaim more of you.

I currently have some containers you can jump into, some are on line and some are in person or you can message me directly to have a chat about whatever this has stirred in you.

So what happened in my session... I became really aware of my fear of taking up to much space and time. That allowing myself to receive taking up space had at times been historically met with either shame/punishment or harm.

What also happened in the session was I, and my body got to have a different experience. The pattern, the neurological pathway has been shifted. I am not healed or fixed I just have a new map within me that tells me there are people and places in my life now where it is safe to take up space and fully receive and from that I can make different choices.

Vulnerability is like a rose, it has protectors, thorns, because it is so beautiful, so incredibly sweet and delicate and it offers us such beautiful medicine, especially for the heart... and that medicine is you... your essence. You are precious.


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